I Missed . . .

Five months after my return to my hometown.

I miss my days in Pangkalan Kerinci.

Never had I planned to go out from my birthplace, alone, for quite long of time.

It just happened.

I had developed the attachment to my new place that I felt far from home whenever I visited my hometown.

I miss those days when I could decide almost everything myself because I was living alone away from home.

I miss those days when parents’ nagging sounded just fine through calls.

I miss those days when I could have my me-time fully after a heavy-work-day; no extra burden hearing other people nag about this and that.

I miss how my roommate, whose alarm always went off even before 5, woke me up before she left for work every morning.

I miss those mornings when I walked to the bus stop, or sometimes run incase I almost missed the bus.

I miss those 20-minute-each of my way to and back from office reading my Kindle.

I miss those confusions whether to do my laundry on Saturday night or Sunday morning.

I miss those days when I woke up from my nap because of the sudden pouring rain and rushed out from the room to collect my laundry.

I miss those free weekends when I wondered what to do: cross-stitching, reading, writing blog, or looking up inspiring story on internet.

I miss those Sundays when I could checklisted a bunch of weekend-spare-time to do list.

I miss those days when I cooked for myself and barely sharing it with my roommate, just too afraid my cooking might poison someone.

I miss that Mess C31-24, my 36m² living space for about two years, in which I easily dashed around to grab this and that.

I miss those days when Sundays were literally my self-healing day.

I miss that view of sunset twilight from my window, dark room, curtains wide open and chill acoustic playlist.

I just miss them so.

Leaving There

Numpang lewat...

It's been half a year since my last post.

My life and soul were heavily occupied by my own concern.

After weeks of struggle, I chose to let go.

Leaving was not, and is not, a relieving choice.

But then, I made that choice too.


Things seemed so much different;

when my significant others would, start and slowly, not be that significant for me any longer

when I need to reopen my "Normal-Daily Life" file and have it refreshed & updated

when I limped just to keep up my pace with others'.

Too proud to tell that I am far from okay.



I can see no U-turn sign.

I hit myself awake.
 
Save all those concern in my "Forgotten Freakin' Concern" folder.

Finally, go back to the page where my life drama continues . . .